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Crap My Mom Sends Me

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Weird Crap

Weird Things You Can Buy On Amazon…

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Ok….so my Mom knows that I am an Amazonaholic.  Seriously…there should be a support group for us.  (*note to self…start support group…check Amazon for publicity and advertising materials)

But there are things on there that I would not buy!  For example…Milk!  Or Condoms – I sure as heck don’t need advertisements for those popping up all over my Facebook screen (oh yea…they already do)

Anyway…My mom sent me an email with “The Weirdest Things You Can Buy On Amazon” and I thought I would share a few with you!  Now…I am not sharing them all….as I honestly might buy a couple of the things listed.  But…I am weird.

Anyway…here goes:

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GRASS FLIP FLOPS  –  WHY??  Just around your yard with no shoes on.  FOR FREE!!!!

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A YODELING PICKLE  –  Now….if it was a radish…..  THEN MAYBE!

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A POUND OF FAT  –  Again…I can get this for free…and I don’t have to look at it!  Just put on a shirt!!

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8 POUNDS OF CEREAL MARSHMALLOWS  –  Cause eating Lucky Charms isn’t unhealthy enough!

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And lastly….and my favorite (no it is not an inhaler)….

A GIANT WALL DECAL OF A WOMAN SUCKING ON AN INHALER  –  And you may be asking yourself “WHY????”

The real question is….Why NOT!?

 

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The Town That Spent 25 Years Underwater

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This is Villa Epecuen, an old tourist town south of Buenos Aires that spent a quarter of a century underwater. Established in the 1920s on the banks of a salt lake, the town was home to over 5,000 residents and a holiday destination to thousands more vacationers from the Argentinian capital.

In 1985, a dam burst and buried the town in 33 feet of salt water, rendering it a modern-day Atlantis. Initially, people waited on their roofs, hoping for the water to recede. It didn’t, and within two days, the place was a devastated ghost town.

In 2009, the waters began to recede and what emerged resembles an apocalyptic world.

Evenly-spaced dead trees still line what used to be streets, rusty bed frames poke out from concrete rubble and sign posts point to nowhere.

Amazingly, one resident remained in this desolate place. Pablo Novak was the only person not to leave his hometown when the water swallowed it up in 1985. He lives in a stone hut with a fridge and a basic cooker. I guess there’s no place like home…

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The Baby Is Crying Again…

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This time…mom sent me an interesting fact.

One that I actually had to research because it fascinated me.

Here is what she sent:

FACT: Newborn Babies Cannot Cry Tears For At Least 3 Weeks

Here is the research that I found:

Is it normal for my baby to cry without tears?

In most cases, yes. Babies’ tear ducts are still developing after birth, and it’s normal for them not to shed tears for the first few months, says pediatrician Tanya Remer Altmann, editor of The Wonder Years: Helping Your Baby and Young Child Successfully Negotiate the Major Developmental Milestones.

Most babies start crying tears around 2 weeks of age, but some can take longer. “Usually by the 2-month checkup, they’re there,” says Altmann.

Some newborns develop clogged tear ducts, which means they can make tears but the tears aren’t draining properly. Accumulated tears can create a gooey yellow discharge, which your child’s doctor may treat with drops or an ointment. The doctor will also instruct you how to clean your baby’s eyes and massage the tear duct, if necessary.

 

LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY!!!

 

A Cat Maze*

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The title of this entry is called “A Cat Maze” – and for those of you that noticed…I put an * next to the title.  There is a reason for this.

The asterisk is used to call out a footnote, especially when there is only one on the page.

My footnote for this title is that I am also calling this entry “Why This Man Will Never Have a Girlfriend or Wife”

With that all aside…what he does do for his cats…his quite elaborate…and a-MAZE-ing!

A Cat Maze

And if you are a cat lover…totally worth the 2:09 minutes of your life!

If you do not like cats…you may enjoy this guys take on why he hates cats:

I HATE CATS

 

INSECT PIZZA – WTF??

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When my mom sent me an email with a list of State Fair Foods….

And the ones that you should try and the ones to avoid….

I was not expecting INSECT PIZZA TO BE ON EITHER LIST!!!!

Here is what the Indianapolis Star said about it:

“Insect pizza: Great Instagram photo op, but have a ton of cold root beer ready to wash down this one. The crickets, scorpions and mealworms lack flavor, but all those little legs and wings and thoughts of things will stay with you for hours. Pro tip: The fried mealworms are easier to eat. No legs to get struck between your teeth. The pizza underneath is not bad, thick and bready. Look for Swain’s Fine Foods pizza shop near the 38th Street gate.”

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is no photo op here!

There is no washing this s**t down here!

WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!???

On a side note…the Deep Fried PB & J looks and sounds AWESOME!

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Man wears strainer….

Now…you would think that a subject line like that would be enough to make you stop and think….WHAT THE HECK!?!

But let me finish the sentence of the email my mom actually sent:

Man wears strainer on his head in driver’s license photo

THIS IS AN ACTUAL CNN NEWS STORY PEOPLE!!!   I AM SCARED FOR OUR FUTURE!!!!!

(CNN) You’ll probably never see a driver’s license photo quite like this.

Strainer Guy

 

It’s of a man with a metal colander on his head. That’s the driver’s license photo of Sean Corbett of Chandler, Arizona. And getting permission for the image to be used took some doing.
He said he went to several Arizona motor vehicle locations for two years before he found one that would let him take the photo with the strainer on his head.
“It’s kind of been a personal mission to keep pushing and not let the naysayers say I can’t,” Corbett told CNN affiliate KNXV.
So why did he insist on being photographed with the colander on his head? Because of his religion, sort of. Corbett calls himself a “pastafarian,” who wears the item as part of his religious headgear.
“Pastafarianism is part of the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which says the world was created 5,000 years ago by a Flying Spaghetti Monster,” Corbett said.
If that sounds, well, a little hokey, it’s supposed to be. Corbett admits pastafarianism is more satirical than reverent.
Most states require people to take their driver’s license photos free of headgear or other items, but exceptions are sometimes made for religious reasons. So that’s why Corbett feels he should be able to wear the pasta strainer in his photo.
However, a spokesman with the Arizona Department of Transportation told KNXV that while some exceptions are made for religious headwear, Corbett’s colander getup probably shouldn’t have been allowed, so the state is going to void the photo and driver’s license.
If that happens, Corbett says he’s prepared to wage a legal battle for the right to be photographed with kitchenware on his head.
I am adding this picture:
stupidity

Beer Bottle Orchestra…

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When your Mom sends you an email…and the subject line is called “Beer Bottle Orchestra” – and you are from the state of Indiana…

Let me just say that your first thought is that a bunch of southern Indiana Rednecks got together, drank a bunch of Bud Light….and started blowing in them and making train noises.

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But NOPE!!   I was totally wrong!

This is actually pretty gosh darn amazing!  It is the “Peacherine Rag” composed by Scott Joplin and performed by a beer bottle orchestra in this creative and entertaining music video. The musical group is the St. Luke’s Bottle Band and they have raised several hundred thousand dollars for charities through their performances over the years.

Click Here To Watch The Video

I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!

Why T-Rex Had Such Puny Arms

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When I was a kid…I wasn’t really into Dinosaurs.  Not sure why…just wasn’t my thing!

But then came along….

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And my life forever was changed!

I am now completely and TOTALLY in love with Dinosaurs!  But more specifically….the Tyrannosaurus Rex!

The killing machine…with tiny little arms!  In fact…I have been known to call my lovely wife Rex…because she is a tiny little killing machine…with tiny T-Rex arms!  LOL

But…I never thought about why they have such puny little arms.  At least…not until my Mom sent me this video!

So CLICK HERE to learn some T-Rex Crap!!!!

Things Cats Do…

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Now…if you have ever seen the Musical Cats…I am guessing that you absolutely LOVED IT!

I know I did!   And I had no problem with a bunch of humans dressed up pretending to be cats!  It was actually very very cool!

But then…My mom sent me the following video.

And now…when ever I think about humans acting like cats…I feel….DISTURBED!

Check it out:  Things Cats Do That’d Be Creepy If You Did Them

MEOW!

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